The Talk
by TouchofPixieDust
Summary: Mrs. Higurashi explains the facts of life to Inuyasha and Kagome. This is The Talk excerpt that was requested from my story Kagome's Baby.


Disclaimer: The characters of Inuyasha are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, but this story belongs to me.

Warning: Includes information about the facts of life. I'm not a nurse or a doctor or a professional on the topic in any way shape or form. If you aren't supposed to read about this kind of thing, please turn back now.

The Talk

The seats near the pharmacy were cold and hard. The molded plastic was terribly uncomfortable. Inuyasha would have much preferred to sit on the floor, but Kagome's mother refused. He looked over at Kagome, who looked just as uncomfortable as he did. Though it wasn't because of the chairs. Whatever it was that her mother was going to be telling them was making the girl a nervous wreck. Her heart rate had doubled and there was a sharp spike in her scent that reeked of fear.

At first he told the woman he didn't want to have anything to do with this. After all, if it was going to be this horrifying for Kagome, Inuyasha wasn't too terribly sure he wanted to go through with it either. He wished he hadn't made the promise to not draw his sword in the store.

"You will go, Inuyasha," he had been informed earlier.

Her mother's tone of voice, regardless of her smile, convinced him that it was in his best interests to obey. Now the woman stood before them with a book in her hands and several small boxes stacked on the counter.

"When a man and woman love each other, and plan to become life long partners, they will want to show each other… physically."

Kagome leapt to her feet as if she had been zapped by a bolt of lightning and backed away with her hands in front of her as if fending off a demon. Inuyasha never saw the miko so frightened. Including during their worst battles with Naraku.

"Mom, I already heard all about this stuff in Health class. Can't I just skip this part and wait for you in the car?"

"No."

"But, Mom…"

"_Kagome_, SIT!"

She sat.

Inuyasha laughed out loud, earning him a glare that promised retribution from the girl beside him. Seeing his subduing command being used on Kagome made all the embarrassment he was suffering through totally worth it. He wondered how the woman got it to work. Was it a tone of voice thing or a some sort of mother thing? Whatever it was, he couldn't wait to see it again. Maybe she could teach it to him…

"Feel free to ask any questions as we go along. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. It is neither a dirty nor a shameful subject. It is a beautiful and wonderful thing between two people who love each other very much and are committed to each other. I will answer all questions honestly and without judgement."

With a gentle smile she opened up the book and showed her daughter and hopefully soon to be son-in-law the pictures. It was a detailed illustration of a man on one page and a woman on the other.

Inuyasha looked at the pictures quizzically. "They're dead."

Kagome's mother looked at the picture, then back at the hanyou. "What?"

"They've been skinned." He cocked his head to one side, examining the neat skinning job of the body. "What does this have to do with… with… you know… the thing we're supposed to be doing?" He looked to Kagome for help, but she wasn't in the helping mood after he laughed at her earlier, though she seemed to turn a deeper shade of red after he asked his question.

"They weren't skinned, honey. It's a drawing to show you what the insides of the human body look like."

"I know what the insides of the human body look like."

"Oh..." Her mother went slightly green at his matter of fact tone, and her smile faltered. "Yes… well… this way I can explain what the parts do." And she did. She pointed to the boy parts and explained just where exactly they went into the girl parts, despite Kagome's desperate pleas to stop.

"The sperm," and yes, to Kagome's great mortification, she explained just what the sperm was and how it got from the male body to the female body, "moves up into the uterus. If a woman is fertile, her ovaries," she pointed to the ovaries on the illustration, "will release an egg. The sperm will enter the egg and combined they will start the creation of your baby."

"Kagome makes eggs?"

"Yes, dear."

"Like a chicken?"

"Er… sort of."

Kagome felt that Inuyasha was a bit too interested in the conversation as her mother explained the differences between a woman's egg and a chicken's egg. Then she explained how the cells in the fertilized egg divided and eventually formed the zygote, then how it began to form into a baby. The miko was about to make a mad dash for the door to escape the embarrassement of listening to her mother explain how babies were made, when she caught a glimpse of the warm glow in Inuyasha's eyes as he watched the growth of the baby.

She could see hope in his eyes, the need. So she forced herself to sit still.

"After nine months, the baby is ready to be born." Her mother described the labor and delivery of both her children. Inuyasha and Kagome both looked scared, and more than slightly disgusted.

"It hurts that bad?"

"It is worth it, Inuyasha. Every single moment is worth it when you hold your baby girl or your baby boy in your arms. Your child. Your creation. A part of you and the one you love most." Her eyes misted over as she reached out and lovingly touched a lock of her daughter's hair.

With some effort, the woman pulled her thoughts back to the present. "But Kagome is still too young. She isn't ready to become a mother yet. Not for a few more years."

"Years?" squeaked Inuyasha. He blushed and averted his gaze when Kagome snickered at him.

"Yes. I want grandchildren, a lot of them, but it would be wise to wait until you are a little older, ready to settle down with the responsibility of having a child. You have to be ready to spend at least the next eighteen years taking care of your child, guiding and nurturing. It is a very big commitment." She gave Inuyasha a stern look. "She will graduate high school first."

"Years…"

Kagome sighed with relief as her mother closed the book. Only to gasp in terror as she picked up one of the boxes from the counter.

"No!" She jumped to her feet. "Don't do it!"

Inuyasha jumped to his feet, forgetting his promise and drawing his sword. He moved his body protectively in front of Kagome, scanning the area for the danger.

Her mother ignored the drama and continued talking. "I trust you to make responsible decisions. My preference would be that you wait until marriage before engaging in any sort of physical activity, it is the only sure way of preventing pregnancy."

"But… we're always doing physical activities…"

For a moment the woman was speechless. She swallowed. "You are?"

"Sure. With all the walking and fighting we do, there isn't a day that we aren't doing physical stuff. Can't find the shards if we're just laying around doing nuthin'."

She sighed in relief, and her daughter bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Ah. Yes. But that was not the type of physical activity I was referring to." She waited for a moment for him to catch on. Then she looked at the book, then at Kagome. She cleared her throat and tapped the page that showed which parts went where. Then poor Inuyasha burst into flames with a strangled sound.

"As I said, abstinence is the only sure way to prevent pregnancy. But it is important to know other forms of birth control."

"Birth control?" The words came out in a squeak.

Kagome cringed as Inuyasha actually said those words. There was just something really wrong with having this conversation. With her mother. AND Inuyasha. In the middle of a pharmacy for goodness sake! Where were the demon attacks when you really needed them? Even the distraction of a soul collector would be welcome. Okay… maybe not that. But the demon attack would be okay.

"Yes. That way the sperm does not fertilize the egg. This form of birth control," she picked up the box, "is the…"

"Oh Mom... please don't…"

But she did. She not only explained to Inuyasha what the little foil packets were for, but took one out and opened it up for him to inspect.

"I don't see how this could stop anything," he said skeptically as he poked the little rubbery disc. Kagome snatched it out of his hands when it looked like he was going to gnaw on it.

"I'll show you."

Kagome thought she was going to die. Yup, she could see the headlines now, "Girl Dies in Pharmacy from Acute Embarrassment." Would her mother go to jail for murder? Would Inuyasha be an accomplice since he kept asking her questions? And just what was her mother doing with a banana?

Oh.

A demonstration.

Goodie.

Could things possibly get any worse?

Well of course they could. To make matters worse, the whole demonstration came with a detailed explanation of how the thing was put on, exactly where it was put on, and what the purpose of it was. One glance at Inuyasha let her know that he was just as uncomfortable as she was, though he couldn't seem to bring himself to actually look AT her. Not only was the poor hanyou turning a nice shade of red that bordered on being purple, but he was also beginning to sweat profusely. When had she EVER seen Inuyasha sweat?

"Please make her stop," Inuyasha begged Kagome in a whispered voice as the woman explained the differences between the brands.

"If I had the power to stop her, do you think we would be here?" she hissed back.

They slumped down in their seats as Kagome's mother continued her discussion. When another little foil packet was put into Inuyasha's hand, Kagome couldn't help but snicker at his horrified expression. Oh yes, her mother really was going to make him put it on a different banana.

"I know how to do it," he said as he looked at the object in his palm with fear.

"I am sure that you do." The smile was warm, but her eyes were as firm as steel. "However, I want to make sure before we leave."

"I swear I know how."

"_Inuyasha_…" Now he knew where Kagome got THAT tone of voice. After the fruit was… er… covered, Kagome's mother clapped her hands together once and beamed at the hanyou. "Very good."

Kagome breathed a sigh of relief. The torture was over. Inuyasha had passed the test and they were free to escape from the Pharmacy of Horror. Sure, they would have, if there was only one type of method that the older woman felt they needed to know about. However, just because it was generally the most common method didn't make it the only one that they needed to know about.

"This," the woman said as she placed one hand on Kagome's shoulder to keep her from rising, "is called a diaphragm… Kagome, dear, please stop screaming."

Inuyasha drew his sword in reflex, using his body as a shield and stepping between the miko and her mother once more. The terror in Kagome's voice dumped a bucket full of adrenaline into his system. And with Inuyasha there was no such thing as fight or flight instinct… it was all fight. Part of him screamed to take down the threat to his mate, part of him told him that she'd kill him in the most painful way possible if he laid one finger on her mother. He got even more confused as to what he should do when Kagome clutched the back of his shirt and hid her face as she continued to scream.

"For goodness sakes, Kagome. Calm down." The woman smiled at them.

"What… what does that thing do?" asked Inuyasha warily. If it was dangerous, then he'd just destroy it. If it would make Kagome stop screaming he'd just destroy the whole stupid building.

So her mother explained what it did and where it was inserted. Inuyasha blinked at the explanation. Then looked at the bright red Kagome.

"How…"

But he wasn't able to finish his question before Kagome bolted down one of the aisles. After a very brief moment of indecision, Inuyasha took off after her. He saw her heading for the doors, and grinned. Escape sure sounded like a good idea to him, too.

Kagome almost wept with relief when she saw the doors. Glancing over her shoulder she saw that Inuyasha was following. Great! They would beat her mother home, grab her backpack, and disappear into the past for a few days. Maybe a few weeks. Maybe months. Once the humiliation dies down a bit. Of course, that may take years…

Turning back to her escape route she lunged for the door.

WHAM!

Inuyasha caught her before her bottom could hit the floor. He growled at the young man who had the NERVE to walk into Kagome's way and make her run into him. After steadying Kagome he decided to teach the punk a lesson.

"HOJO?" Kagome screeched.

Inuyasha sighed, knowing that he probably wouldn't get a chance to beat on the jerk.

The jerk smiled at Kagome. "Hello, Higurashi. It is nice to run into you." He laughed lightly at his own stupid joke, making Inuyasha want to knock him upside the head. Or run him through with the sword.

"Kagome, dear. We aren't finished."

Inuyasha and Kagome look back to see her mother with her basket full of contraceptives, books, and charts. Kagome began to scream. She looked at Hojo as he looked at the basket, then looked at her. Then the pitch of her scream rose, as did the volume.

Holding up his sword, Inuyasha shoved Kagome behind him. He jerked the punk inside of the building and away from the exit. Then he backed up slowly, taking care that he wasn't stomping on Kagome. He didn't realize he was growling until the store fell silent. One hand continued to hold the sword and threaten anyone around him, while the other swept backwards to keep Kagome protected. Then he backed them out of the store completely. Once outside, he scooped her up and ran back to the well, leaping from rooftop to rooftop. They could always come back another time for the supplies.

"Kagome…"

"Please… for the love of heaven, please let's not talk about this right now…"

Inuyasha blushed and nodded.

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"Good afternoon, Mrs. Higurashi."

"Good afternoon, Hojo."

He looked at the basked once more.

"Your daughter looks well."

The woman smiled. "She seems to be getting a little better every day."

"Do you need any help with your shopping?"

She laughed. "Thank you, but no. I was merely helping Kagome and Inuyasha with a little lesson."

Hojo smiled with relief. "Oh. Homework."

"Yes… extra credit, you might say."

The boy waved his good-bye and went off for his own shopping. Mrs. Higurashi stood at the door and watched her daughter disappear out of sight. Then she smiled. As much as she was looking forward to grandchildren, she knew that it would be best to wait just a little while longer. She laughed. Of course, after today, it would be quite some time before they would even be able to look at each other without turning red.

"Ma'am, did you want to check out?"

She looked at the basket, then out the door again.

"Yes, please."

"All of this?"

She smiled warmly. "Yes, please."

Inuyasha wasn't the only one who could protect her daughter, after all.

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"KAGOMEEEE!" squealed Shippo. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too."

"Did you bring me a treat?"

Kagome blushed as she recalled why she did not bring along her yellow backpack. "Er… not this time, Shippo."

The fox kit cocked his head to one side as he peered at Inuyasha's clenched fist. "Did you bring me a treat?" It was a question laced with incredulation.

The dog demon looked confused, then down at his hand. Slowly he opened his fingers. He cursed loudly as he saw the little stretchy disc in his hand and dropped it like it was on fire. He looked at Kagome's horrified eyes.

Then he bolted.

And Kagome began to scream.

"SIIIT!"

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Author's Notes:

I was asked to write about "the talk" that Kagome's mom had with Inuyasha for the story Kagome's Baby. So here it is!


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